


Never Die

by dooomninja



Series: Hearts [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Death Wish, F/F, F/M, Major Character Injury, Past Character Death, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Unreliable Narrator, Will add more tags as we go, like a whole lot of angst, or at least catharsis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27724807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dooomninja/pseuds/dooomninja
Summary: Following on from the events of 'Hearts: Painted Black', Harper is now part of the team just as Batman splinters the league. Harper is now left alone in the world of superheroes that she has so long looked up to; with a chip on her shoulder and a shattered heart. How will she go about rebuilding herself, and how many people will she drag down along the way?
Relationships: Cassandra Cain/Harper Row, Harper Row/Roy Harper
Series: Hearts [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/812109
Comments: 4
Kudos: 1





	1. Everything's cold : part 1

**Author's Note:**

> quick warning at the start; this fic will touch on themes of major character death quite closely even if the death itself is in the past so if that is something you have personal experience with and/or it starts of affect you badly please stop and take a break. your wellbeing matters far more than this story. 
> 
> for those who have come to this fic without reading the first; don't feel you have to read it, there is a summary below that should catch you up on the most important points

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harper Row first met Cassandra Cain after she had been saved from her abusive father and a life of killing for his profit. She does her best to try and help Cass adjust to her new life of heroism, along with her friend Stephanie Brown. Harper only realises the feelings she has developed for the other too late as David Cain (Cass's father) returns to reclaim her. In their battle; Harper is badly wounded, Steph is brought to the point of death, and Cass dies bringing her father down.

"Excellent work alpha squad. Textbook op. Truly."

Of course, Miss perfect princess leads a perfect mission with her perfect team and her perfect life.

"Gamma, you could learn something-"

Harper rolls her eyes as Miss Martian gets distracted by some leaguers showing up- Steel in full gear and Black Lightning in civvies-. Hopefully, Miss Martian forgets so she can be saved from the inevitable lecture. If they are going to keep having a go at her they should at least come up with some new lines. How many times has she heard; what are you doing Harper? You can't just beat people up Harper. You are going to get someone killed Harper. 

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

In front of her, she hears super girl ask Virgil about Black Lightning not being in costume, but Virgil just looks away. Bart tries to distract everyone by quipping about Aquaman not showing yet just as the zeta tubes spin up again and Aquaman appears. after exchanging a few words with Miss M both of them head to the league main conference room. 

Superboy takes them through the last of the debrief, though he skims over Harper for the most part, which only makes her think that Miss M told him to be gentle with her like she is some kind of fragile egg. 

They had finished for a while and were waiting in groups all over the steps. Bart and Blue Beetle are a way back, the former munching on a bag of crisps. The three other girls are across from them. Thirteen is talking to Superboy by the holo screen. While Harper was sitting with Virgil and Duke who are chatting about something Harper doesn't care about.

Batman and Green arrow come back first, though strangely Harper can't see the rest of the league. She narrows her eyes, watching them. Did something happen?

"it's time." 

That all Batman says, but it sounds like a code for something. Which becomes very clear when Duke stands and heads for the zeta tubes along with two of the girls, Supergirl calls after them but stops when the girl Harper is trying very hard to ignore mutters something too quietly for anyone but Supergirl to hear. 

But she doesn't even give Harper a backwards glance as she steps into the zeta tube.

"Yeah, screw you too!" Harper calls after before storming off. 

She feels a hand try to grab her sleeve, but she knocks it off and heads for the gym. she desperately needs to hit something.

* * *

the punching bag barely gives before her blows, her knuckles stinging with every blow. Technically she _may_ have had it set a bit hard for a baseline human, but there are all too many things out there that don't care that she is baseline. They won't give up because her knuckles are bruised, nor if her gear brakes, nor if people feel _sorry_ for her. 

"Do you want to drop that a few?" of course Canary couldn't leave her alone. 

"No..." 

Harper moves away from the punch bag and away from Canary. she would give anything to not have to talk right now. Her whole hands hurt as she flexes them, but she steps up to the spinning training dummy anyway. The highest targets are away above her head, but the others are more than capable of breaking bones if she messes it up, even at this level. 

Her first blow spins a bar into her block with enough force to shake her entire arm. Even as she counters and blocks the next impact she can feel bruises starting to form already, even with the padding she has on. She knows this will mean yet another lecture about 'giving her body time to recover', but how can she? she has spent all these months since the... incident, training like she never has before but she is still so weak and useless. 

"Harper, please-"

KRACK

In her stupid distraction, Harper had forgotten about Canary's persistence and so she manages to get herself struck on the head by a spinning bar. Fortunately, it struck the mass of scar tissue left from the electrical discharge so only drew a little blood just above her ear. Even with the help of Dr Midnight, the Lichtenberg-figure like scaring was going to be with her for the rest of her life, but it still feels wrong under her fingertips as she holds her head, the skin itself numb and rough to the touch.

"are you okay? Harper?"

"get off! I'm fine." she pushes Canary off from where she had been trying to look at Harper's head to see how badly she was hurt. But Harper can feel that nothing is broken, so that's all that matters. She can't afford to mess up like that all the time, or at the very least she needs to learn to take a hit. 

"Harper, please we need to talk about this."

"And I have told you before; I don't need your pity."

"do you think you are deserving of pity?" 

"oh shut up with this psychoanalysis crap. I don't need that either."

Harper walks away again heading to the shooting range. Though most leaguers are against the use of firearms, many still need to practice marksmanship with a variety of weapons. She picks up a laser pistol and sets up a front-on range, partly so she can focus on her aim rather than moving around with an all-round attack. But mostly it's so she doesn't have to look at Canary.

She pauses the simulation after what feels like ages, but the timer says that it is merely a minute sixteen. And even worse her hit rate is awful. She swears she is getting worse. As if that is even possible. 

"If I can have a moment Harper."

"your still here!?"

"I'm sure you noticed that very few leaguers are around at the moment, with the space mission and Batman taking a load too."

Harper doesn't reply, but she can't help being a little curious where this is going, and what Batman is up to. 

"well, that means that no one else is going to be living on the watchtower. And as you are not an adult we can't leave you up here on your own. Now it may take a month or-"

"I've lived on my own before," Harper says, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Harper. when was the last time you left the watchtower?"

"like two hours ago, we had a mission if you didn't notice."

"apart from missions."

Harper doesn't reply.

Canary sighs, "Just think about it, Harper. I may have some ideas. is it okay if we talk about this later, after I make sure everything is okay?"

"Sure. Whatever."

Harper walks off again. She is done with training for today as her whole body aches. This time Canary doesn't follow her.

She wants to call Cullen, but he has had to move away from the US for his own protection, even Harper doesn't know exactly where he is now, somewhere in Europe judging by the times he is awake, which also means it would be the early hours of the morning for him right now. not that that would stop him answering but Harper doesn't want to do that to him. 

Walking on autopilot Harper isn't paying attention to where she is going, that is until she ends up in the memorial garden. 

The room has a certain kind of serenity to it. The quiet trees and the backdrop of the distant stars. and of course the figures. The dead. 

First is blue beetle, the first one- or is it second, Harper can't remember- the one before this one though. 

Then there is Jason Todd. The second robin. Jada Jada. she doesn't know his full story but picked up bits from Tim and Barb.

In the middle is Aquagirl. Harper knows almost nothing about her. She heard something about her being childhood friends with Aquaman, but that's it.

Next is Kid flash. Everyone knows the story of his death; The Reach bombs. 

Finally. The last and the newest. 

"Hey, Cass."

The pedestal was a simple stand with the hologram floating above it. She looks so wrong, Far too static. She was never like that. It makes her look far scarier- just a blank mask- than she ever did... 

She shouldn't complain though. she wasn't even a member of the team when she... when they fought Cain. Harper knows they were about to be offered a place, but that came a bit late. Now Harper doesn't have a choice and St- a load of other people throw it back in their face.

Harper knows that she should say something but nothing comes to mind. not that that would matter to Cass- Harper reminds herself- she was never that big on needless words. There was this little thing she did when people were talking too much, snapping her fingers open and closed like someone would if they were making a hand puppet speak. 

The thought makes Harper smile, but only then does she realise that tears are pouring from her eyes. she sniffs and tries to brush them off, but they keep falling. Breaths come in ragged gasps, and she drops to her knees. 

Why. Why did it have to be you? Why is the world so unfair. Why did it have to end this way? Why. Just why?

But it's not like graves can talk. It's not even a proper grave. Just a useless hologram on a useless station for useless people to cry useless tears. 

So why can't she stop?

Harper doesn't know how long it takes for the tears to run out. It could be hours for all she knows. She feels so tired. Only then, sitting in a mess looking over the world below does Harper notice the bracers resting at the base of the pedestal. Their placement is almost haphazard, as though someone had taken them off while resting and forgot to pick them up. They look like they are made of platinum- with a much brighter sheen than steel or even silver. But something about them suggests that they are not just decorative. The ridges on the ends and the subtle pattern on the metal, boosting rigidity in a way that wouldn't matter on such a soft metal as platinum. 

Of course, any assessment of them is unnecessary because they are instantly recognisable. They are identical to the ones used by Wonder Woman. With the one exception of the pattern, that marks out the unmistakable symbol of a bat.

Their presence here is a big statement.

And here come the tears again.

And she lets them come.

Until she's weak.

And tired.

...

No one comes to save her. But given that the last person who did is now floating above her...

Another age passes as she slowly gets back in control of her breathing and the burning ache in her chest numbs to a dull throb. Only then does she finally pull herself together. Trying to shake away the weight pulling down her mind and brush off the last of the water on her eyelashes Harper stands. A little unsteady she turns away and doesn't look back, even though she knows she will be back.

Halfway back through the trees Harper realises that someone else is in the doorway leading to the rest of the tower. In the old days' -before any of this- Harper had had more than a few fantasies about those dark tights, darker blazer, and even darker wavy hair. But right now Harper can barely feel anything.

"don't let me hold you up." Harper says as she passes, not looking at the other woman, "I'm done."

"It was actually you, I was looking for," Zatanna says turning to keep facing her.

"can it wait? I've had enough lectures for today."

"I'm not going to do anything like that. Believe me. I'm in no position to judge. In fact, I have something for you."

Harper looks back at the pendant she is being offered. it is a light green teardrop dangling from a simple black string and seems to glow with an internal light. "Sorry, it's not my colour, and I'm not really a necklace girl."

Zatanna smiles weakly, "it's a glamour charm. it will protect your identity if you feel like getting away from here for a bit." when Harper doesn't move to take it or reply she goes on, "even if you don't think you are going to use it it doesn't hurt having the option."

Harper sighs and takes the pendent even if she knows she will never use it at least it will stop Zatanna trying to give it to her again. "Sure." is all she says before walking away back to the room she has been staying in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so happy to be back to this story it's going to be such fun, for me if not for harper >;3
> 
> with the recent return of harper to the comics it really remind me how different she is here so i'm sorry if anyone came off from reading punchline and found this Harper is very different (but i think the growth is natural or at least explained)
> 
> this arc is running about as close as any are going to with YJ3 but this isn't going to be a retelling with harper added, there will be nods to the yj3 timeline but that will be very much background plot


	2. Everything's cold: part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harper keeps pushing herself to train harder and harder. a call to a mission might just be the break she needs, or simply a dangerous outlet.

A few weeks later...

Breaths come in laboured gasps, and she pushes forward running as hard as she can. Hesitating for little more than a heartbeat, she tries to decide whether to go up or down. She doesn't want to be slowed having to get up on the other side, so she decides to go over. As she jumps she spots the two targets off to the side that had been blocked behind the partition. 

She half stumbles as her foot clips the barrier but manages to pull out two blades to tag both of them one after the other. Her shots are a little off; one only gets tagged in the shoulder for half points. Trying to keep her irritation down, she pushes herself onwards- almost too late she spots another target out of the corner of her eye. She scrambles to get out another blade but too late does she realise that it is a bait! She only barely manages to clip the back end of the blade making it tumble from its mark.

But the mistake killed all her momentum. She can only barely make the jump into the next section. Rolling out from the barrier she has to fight to get herself a stable footing. Two targets left. She pushes herself up from her hands about halfway to the finish, grabbing two more blades from her belt as she runs. Flinging her arms out she tags them both as she throws herself across the line.

Her head swims as she tries desperately to get air into her lungs. She spits out saliva and coughs trying to ease the pain in her chest. Knowing that it is easier to breathe when you aren't doubled over she tries to raise her head, but everything aches and her head spins so badly that she almost falls over, and she would have if a strong hand hadn't grabbed her arm and held her steady.

"Not too bad Harper, you are getting way better."

She pulls her arm free, feeling annoyance rising in her chest again, and stumbles, as smoothly as possible -which isn't very- over to her water to take a swig, trying to clear the saliva from her mouth, before replying, "what do you want Dickface."

"Wow, that's a new one!" Nightwing looks as collected as he ever has, even stood there in civvies. Once upon a time, Harper almost revered him -the original Robin!- that naivety has burnt away in the fires of pain and loss. 

When he doesn't say anything else, Harper decides that she doesn't want to prompt him. Instead, she heads to her bag and pulls out a brick and bites the end block off grinding it to a chalky powder between her teeth. Still ignoring Dick she flicks up the hologram computer attached to her thigh, from there she tells the watchtower to reset the course and looks through her times.

"you know one point six under par isn't bad. at least, not for your sixteenth run in an hour!"

"your still here?"

"can't get rid of me that easy!"

"pity."

She gets up and walks back to the start. The ache in her muscles is still there but dulled a little, every time she shifts her weight they strain against her. Sweat collects in her eyebrows and runs down her neck despite the cold of the room. Her head feels like it is full of cotton wool, she can't seem to get enough air into her sore lungs, but an upside is that she isn't thinking any more. 

"We got a mission." Harper stops mid-step at Dick's words, and glances over her shoulder at him as he continues, "you in?"

"Miss M, normally gives out missions, and besides you're not even on the team. How'd you get up here?"

"I'm not _not_ on the team, just taking a leave of absence. and this is very off the books, even by team standard."

Harper gives a half laugh- the closest she gets these days- "sure, get me something to hit, and I'm down!"

Dick grins, "crash. we will need to be in Star in an hour, or so so we can meet up with the rest of the mission team."

"sure. whatever." Harper says, turning off the scenario and going back to grab her stuff, she needs a shower before then, and to collect her suit, and probably some proper food too.

"Also I recommend having a cold bath, it can help keep DOMS off."

Harper doesn't reply as she walks away, she just snaps her fingers imitating his flapping jaw before realising what she is doing. she tenses her fist tight against her chest trying to force back the pain that had flared up in her chest like a great inferno. Maybe that cold bath will be enough to clear her mind. Can't hurt to try.

* * *

The cold bath Dick had suggested did help clear her mind, with the pain if nothing else. after a few minutes she had gone numb and the pain had stopped, after that she gave up. If it was going to help it would have done so by then. The food in the watchtower cafeteria is less helpful, given that she is the only one up here for very long periods, the other only stay up here when it is their turn monitoring the sensors. So there isn't much food available, just simple, ready to eat meals and a whole lot of coffee. Not that she was ever a great cook, that was always Cullen's job.

She doesn't bother dressing in full gear, no way they are going to hit the site before nightfall, and it is still mid-morning in California. No idea what he has planned for the rest of the day. Hopefully something interesting. 

The zeta beam drops her inside an old school phone box. Stepping out she finds herself on the seafront, similar to Robbinsville with a small park area on the coast and houses up on the shore, but it smells wrong compared to there, she can still smell the salt in the air, but it's not Gotham. Looking up at the city the buildings are somewhat dispersed -at least compared to Gotham- and there are only a couple of true skyscrapers, the tallest is pointy like an arrow into the sky. everything feels just slightly off. Nothing like home.

She rolls her eyes at how silly she is getting and heads for where Dick told them to meet. Only a couple of blocks away does she realise that she had forgotten about Zatanna's charm. She can't be bothered to go and get it, so she brushes her hair over to cover her scars and ruined ear. The long part of her hair is a much deeper purple -as she had been steering away from dyeing it blue- and her shorter hair has grown out its natural brown far more than it was that day...

After a few more minutes of walking through the loose crowd and trying to ignore her thoughts, she spots Dick ahead with a couple more guys. One is taller and built like a bodybuilder, ginger hair cut to a neat military-grade -the other also has ginger hair, but his is buzz cut, and he looks a lot scruffier with a slightly tattered hoodie and jeans rather than the tight shirt of the first. Really Dick? Two more?

Dick waves her over, "Hey Harper!"

"Really Dick?" the smaller asks.

Harper raises an eyebrow questioningly but neither answer right away, instead the big guy steps up to her and offers a hand for her to shake.

"Jim Harper, and that's my brother, Roy."

Harper shakes his hand briefly, his grip is strong and stable just as she would expect. Roy doesn't offer his hand, he just gives her a nod- that she matches- while he keeps his hands in his pockets. She looks over at Dick -who is wearing the same kind of bike jacket as her, but with darker blue stripes running from shoulder to wrist- and asks, "so what's the plan? I _was_ promised something to fight."

"First we got one more to pick up, he's just a block away."

The other two don't seem surprised, so Harper just shrugs and follows their lead. The building that they are going towards is red brick with large windows, outside the front is a concrete block with a sign saying 'bowhunter security'. 

Dick leads them inside and down a corridor to an office at the end. The building is strangely quiet. she can't hear the normal bustle of people moving about, no distant talking or slamming of doors. The others seem chill enough though so she tries to play along with them, but does check to make certain that she has her electro-pistol- and a few other toys- under her jacket. 

Ahead a voice carries down the corridor, "absolutely. We'll be there. we'll be ready." 

Passing into an office at the end of the hall, Harper sees who the voice belongs to. He looks very much like both Jim and Roy, built roughly between them with hair like Jim's but longer and a well-kept beard. The three of them look almost identical apart from their hair cuts and build, even more than a normal family resemblance. 

He holds up two fingers to them and replies to whatever the person on the other end of the phone says, "that's right ma'am. At Bowhunter Security, we're always on point."

Harper raises an eyebrow, not sure what to make of it. Next to her, Roy rolls his eyes hard while Jim lets out a light laugh. 

The guy on the phone signs off and puts it down before smiling and leaning back in his chair, "let me guess... you'll are in need of some top of the line security. am I right?"

"Not exactly," Dick replies, he goes on to explain about his last mission, Dick and friends had managed to break up the operation they were targeting but lost the kids who had been taken. Apparently, Dick is also ditching the people he did save. Harper isn't exactly sure how to feel about it. On one hand; Dick probably thinks that there are better people to look after strays then him which makes sense. But on the other; Harper is also a lost stray dumped on people that have better things to do than look after her. he ends his pitch with, "I thought we would make it an all Harper mission."

"oh right, _Harper_ row." Roy mutters next to her quietly enough to not interrupt the others.

"dickface thinks he's funny."

"ha, dickface. I like that."

back at the front the new Harper who Harper still doesn't know the name of makes an offer for them to help him out too, the other two give affirmative, and Harper responds with, "'nuffing better to do."

looking pensive Dick asks, "what are we talking about here?"

* * *

when Harper finished changing into a light blue shirt with badges that say 'Bowhunter Security' on them, she finds Roy waiting for the other too. he is still finishing to pull on gloves, and Harper spots an edge of dark metal underneath. He gives her a quick nod, but she decides that there is something more interesting to comment on.

"so who's the original?" he looks up at her again eyebrows so high they disappear under his hat, "you are clones right? you, Jim, and whatever his name is."

"Will. and me. I'm the template. They're the clones."

"so they stole all the pretty."

he catches her eye and smirks back, "but I kept the brains."

"so brains." she says pointing at him, then she points at Jim who had just come out a door next to them, "brawns and looks. so what did Will get?"

Roy makes an overly exaggerated gesture as though being about to say something then stopping himself while Jim laughs heartily. 

"time to get going," Will says as he joins them, also in the same kind of smart shirt as the rest of them. Just behind him, Dick is fiddling uncomfortably with his tie. 

Will leads them outside, Dick is still playing with his shirt and Roy has an extra jacket on to cover his arm. Harper is enjoying herself far too much, she slips her thumbs into her belt and swaggers out after them. Maybe this won't be boring after all. Hell, she does always look amazing in a suit, if she is lucky there is a chance there will be a pretty girl or boy for her to distract herself with.

They all pile into a dark-blue SUV, Will and Dick in the front- and Roy, Harper, and Jim in the back. Harper has to have her feet either side of the centre console where the driveshaft goes through under them; not that harper minds manspreading all over them.

"seatbelts everyone!" Will says rather too excitedly in Harper's opinion 

and judging by his response, Dicks too, "enjoying yourself?"

"in this get up?" Roy gives a fake laugh, "no."

"I dunno. I always look good in a suit!" Harper responds over dramatically flicking her collar.

"Yeah. I think he was talking to Will." Jim says, a little redundantly.

"come on Grayson. Let's not pretend you were planning to hit your traffickers before nightfall."

"well, I-"

"that's the dark knight way, right?" Jim adds

"Yeah, I hear all those bat boys turn into pumpkins in daylight." Roy adds smirking, "but what about bat girls I wonder?"

"mice and singing birds." Harper responds without missing a beat, though the mention of 'batgirl' left a tightness in her chest.

Dick sighs, "who's idea was it to have all of you together on one mission."

"yours," they all respond in unison.

After sighing exaggeratedly, Dick wonders aloud whether Will has any actual employees, to which Will explains that they all have food poisoning- something about explosive diarrhoea- so Dick gives up trying to argue and Will drives away.

* * *

It turns out that they are guarding a shipment of VR goggles from Goode World Studios. There has been a lot of buzz around them on the tech forums, but Harper isn't that impressed, they are designed to be impossible to take apart without destroying them, which also means any attempt to fix them is out of the question. Not that people haven't taken them apart, Harper has seen the breakdowns, and they don't make much sense, with whole systems that don't seem to do anything. It is all peculiar.

Harper stands across from Will and Dick who are quietly arguing about some girl Will is babysitting, but who Will thinks Dick needs to sort out. While behind them Roy and Jim are talking about the goggles. 

After a few more tedious minutes, Roy- who had been lounging on a stack of crates- comes over, "Seriously, why are we even here? No one's taking this stuff in broad daylight."

Harper desperately hopes that he is wrong. If she gets any more bored, she is going to see how proof these goggles -and Roy's arm- are to EMPs.

* * *

"wait a sec. these aren't the right drivers."

They are seeing off the trucks when Will drops that bombshell, that Harper might have cared about if she hadn't spent the last few hours getting stiff and irritated with everything. 

"their credentials check out," Jim replies seemingly just as disinterested as Harper.

"the clipboard doesn't lie."

"the clipboard doesn't talk," Roy says having seen off the last truck. 

Harper smirks as she responds, "so he is technically correct! The clipboard doesn't lie. It is up to the idiot using it to be wrong."

But Will ignored her jab and is instead watching the last truck leave, "I know that guy. He's one of Brick's thugs! To the SUV!"

Not quite the Batmobile, Harper thinks as they rush after Will and cram into his ride. But as they accelerate out of the warehouse, Harper can feel a little excitement flare inside of her. The hunt is on.

* * *

As they get closer the trucks try to accelerate away down the deserted coastal highway, but Will matches them; to speed that Harper is pretty sure is above the speed limit but like hell is she going to complain. Will and Roy argue about just shooting the trucks until Jim points out that they are being tailed.

Harper pushes herself up in the seat to look out the back window as a heavy-set maroon sports car catches up to them and pulls up alongside. They all watch as the window pulls down to reveal a massive man in a designer suit, overly fancy shades, and with brick-red skin. He smirks at them, golden tooth glinting in the sun. 

They can barely get out a, "uh oh," before the car slams into the SUV pushing it into the railings. They grind across the metal, sending sparks flying. Harper gets a heart-stopping view of the pacific ocean far below before Will regains control right in front of an oncoming school bus! 

The three of them in the back are shunted around as Will swerves past to screaming from all involved!

a moment after levelling out Roy pleads with Will to let him, "at least shoot at that guy!"

"yes! you can shoot at that guy!"

"Finally!" Roy replies, leaning back out the window and taking aim with his Robo-arm. An energy shot smashes through one of the car's headlights smoke pouring from the wound.

The next shot misses- tearing up a whole in the tarmac- as the driver swerves around it. But out of the corner of her eye, Harper sees Roy smirk. 

His next shot is different. Rather than burning metal when it hits there is a flash of light, and the car spins skidding side on down the road before regaining traction and shooting off the edge but not before the driver leaps onto their SUV.

Roy dives back inside but before he can say anything a fist busts through the roof of the car and grasps towards Dick and Will trying to grab them. 

Harper grabs something from her jacket, but he pulls his hand back before she can use it.

"you always wanted a convertible!" Dick quips

but before anyone can respond, the hand smashes back down. This time though Harper is ready. she lunges forward ramming the electrodes into his wrist. There is a yell of pain from above as a few thousand volts discharge into his hand. To her satisfaction, Harper hears loads of cursing from above them.

"Okay, I'm out!" Roy says as he opens the door and fires a grapple and the back of the truck in front of them pulling himself to it.

Above she can hear the big guy -who had pulled his arm back- say something in confusion, in the moment respite she urges Will to drive them up.

They pass the rear truck as Roy makes his way to the cab. as they pull alongside the next Harper pushes open the door and jumps across the gap. In a heart-stopping moment, her foot slips. She only just manages to grab onto the wing mirror. With a great heave, she swings herself back onto the steps only to look up and see that the guy behind the wheel was pointing a gun at her face!

She swings back to the side away from the door as three shots ring out, punching through the glass. She reaches up with the hand that isn't still hanging onto the mirror strut, grabbing onto the roof. Turning so far that her right arm stretched back as far as it can go to keep a grip on the wing mirror. She plants a foot on the trailer and forces herself up- through the burning of her muscles- towards the roof. Three quick steps up the trailer and she is lying on the roof.

But she doesn't even get a chance to breathe. Bullets shoot through the roof next to her. She rolls and forces a leg under her as eight more shoots punch through the roof at her. 

Leaping off the end, she dodges two more shots and grabs the edge flinging herself down. Before he can take another shot, she pulls open the door and jumps into the passenger seat. And into the cross-hairs of the drivers gun.

"One shot left. I'd hate to mess up your pretty little face..."

She shows him the fist-sized object she is holding, "bomb." Presses a button, "dead man switch." And looks at him putting on her most psychotic smile, "and I won't."

"Are you crazy?!"

"Yeah! Wanna find out how much?" she says, pushing her Gotham accent to its max' so that her voice gets a bit of that Arkham madness to it. she can see the fear in his eyes 

"Okay okay, I'm stopping I'm stopping!"

"Smart!"

* * *

the five of them watch as the hijackers are lead away, the leader -who Will had identified as 'Brick' asks them who they are.

"bowhunter security." 

"always on point."

Harper didn't honestly expect Roy and Jim to be the ones to say the cheesy line, but what does she know. Brick is shocked by a waiting cop -technically the inhib' collar does the shocking while also keeping his powers in check- before being lead away. Dick and Will walk away to the edge of the road overlooking the sea, and at the same time a cop comes over to them,

"one of Bricks men said one of you threatened him with a bomb."

"that's me." Harper says, Roy and Jim look at her dismayed, but the cop just narrows his eyes at her, it's not like she isn't distinguishable in this sausage fest, "but it's not a bomb." 

The cop raises his eyebrows so she asks if she can show it, he gives a slow nod but keeps his hand on his gun. she pulls out a five-inch long tube with wires projecting from it, it fits neatly into her hand. She can see the others watching it closely so -while rolling her eyes- she explains, "it's an EM disruptor. It messes with uninsulated electronics. no effects on people, or trucks- 'cept maybe the sat nav." 

The cop is still looking distrustful, so she gets out her phone, turns the screen on then presses the button on the EMD. the cop flinches but then his eyes lock on her phone. The screen is flickering through random inputs faster than anyone can keep up with. But out of the corner of her eye, she spots that Roy is more focused on his hand where his fingers are twitching rapidly.

She turns off the EMD, and both Roy's hand and her phone go back to normal. then suddenly a voice emits from her phone, "-Danvers dot com and 'American Alien' has been making waves-"

"shut up!" Harper says, shutting down the website and blaring video. Jim had also had a problem with his phone, but Dick and Will seem to be mostly out of range. "see it's fine. no damage done."

"It could still be dangerous."

"you have a gun..."

He looks annoyed but also realises that he doesn't have a good reason to push it further. Especially since all the attempted thieves are in the back of a van and all the other cops are waiting for him -her being paler than Gotham snow probably doesn't hurt either.

As the cop walks away, Harper turns and asks Roy, "how's the hand?"

"fine, I think. and _thanks for th_ \- hey!"

She grabs his arm -cutting off his sarcasm- and starts manipulating the fingers. There is no twisting in the fingers, and when bending them she can feel the resistance of small AC motors embedded into the 'bones'. which Harper doesn't think is how real fingers work but what would she know, she spent her last bio exam doodling circuits in the margins.

"looks like Lexy decided that fine controls aren't worth insulation, least you didn't blow anything up."

"yeah... wait, how'd you know it's LexCorp tech," he says, pulling his arm away from her.

"Lex patterned cooling rods, and intakes/exhausts."

Before they can keep talking Will and Dick come over to check on everything, Roy assures Will that all the goggles are there. Then Jim adds, "you know what? private security is more exciting than I thought."

"Sounds like the beginnings of a Harper family business!"

"Don't push it."

"Baby steps?" Will adds despite Roy's reluctance. "now I believe there is one more thing on our to-do list..."

They turn to look at Dick, who smiles back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have never used an ice bath myself, i only used cold showers before as a prep for a race. the thing is with cold baths is that you have to be careful so not to get hypothermia, but they can definitely help with doms if you do them right.
> 
> okay so hollywood lied about EMPs (shocker i know) they aren't just a big blue pulse that just shuts everything down unless it is super high power (like nuke level) the most it will do is mess with inputs and trip breakers. a lot of my info comes from [a video by electroboom](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5M6YKR7wUw&ab_channel=ElectroBOOM). the thing with Harper phone was inspired by that video too.


	3. Everything's cold : part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Harper finds one or two outlets for her frustration.

Darkness has fully arrived as they work their way towards the traffickers' hideout.

"so you and Harper then?" Dick asks conversationally.

Roy rolls his eyes, "shut the hell up Dickface."

"that's going to stick isn't it..." Dick responds with a sigh.

"Sure hope so." Roy answers as they slip inside through a window into the upper floors of the building. "and no. she is _really_ not my type. and I swear the only part of me she is interested in is my arm."

* * *

"ha. The only part of him I'm interested in is his arm, and then only so I can dissect it."

"you could have said 'dismantle', that would sound a little less creepy."

Harper smirks and turns back to the lock on the door, unlike the rest of the building it is new and high tech, she can see where it had been embedded into the bricks of the warehouse. someone had put a lot of effort into keeping any unexpected visitors out. "no way we can pop it quietly."

"then we are lucky they left a window open," Will says pointing up the wall, where indeed there is an ajar window.

"tight squeeze. And ten-foot up doesn't make it easier, doubly for the big guy," she says, pointing to Jim who is behind Will, who's size was only exaggerated by his armour. 

"Yeah, I think he meant you..."

Harper sighs, "great..." 

Will pulls back to one of the overlooking buildings to keep a lookout over the other entrances. Whereas, Jim braces himself against the wall under the window. He locks his arms together, grabbing onto his wrists to give her a platform. She tries to shake off the lethargy that no amount of coffee seems to clear away, and steps on. 

She is lifted into the air, towards the cracked open window. Carefully she pulls it open a little checking for alarms, there is one, but it isn't primed with the window slightly too open. She forces it open as far as it can go and slips her head inside.

She looks around searching for anyone nearby, but this side of the building seems to be deserted, all the guards are quite a way off based on what she can hear. 

Next to come through are her arms and shoulders, which are-to her surprise- easier than she expected. Once she gets them through she can brace herself against the wall, taking her weight off Jim's arms. But the next bit turns out to be more challenging. Even after leaving her jacket behind her bust is 'up-armoured'; both because of her centre of mass but also because that's somewhere she _really_ doesn't want to get shot!. It takes more than a little effort to squeeze through. Harper prefers not to think about how inelegant this will look from outside.

Now that she is halfway through she shifts tactic, pulling herself to one side to try and get her hips through sideways. That isn't much easier; even with the advantage of leverage. Once she gets to the point where she can sneak one leg under herself and through it becomes a lot simpler to pull her other leg after it. 

She drops to the ground, rolling lightly to muffle her landing. Her right arm aches even worse from where she was holding herself up. But at least she is inside now. 

Creeping forward as carefully as possible Harper heads towards the sounds of activity. she had had to leave her utility belt outside and didn't bring any of her bigger weapons from the watchtower. Right now, all that she has is two little tasers that can be fitted together to gain range, and a flash bomb to use if things get hot. But they aren't meant to do that until Dick and Roy get the info about the other operations. 

Harper's more immediate concern is the kids that may or may not be here. She can make out the traffickers ahead, past the small storage boxes that she has been moving between, keeping low to the ground and moving only when they aren't looking. 

And she makes it to only a few meters away from them. She listens in on them discussing their 'produce' as though they aren't talking about people. If Harper hadn't already decided to beat them all into the ground, that is the moment she would have. 

Peaking around the end of one of the crates. Trying not to think about the likelihood that there is a kid inside; Harper watches as they open a different one across from her. A container that is next to the tall cylinders, that Dick had told them about. The ones that change you. Human to meta. 

"Get out. We ain't got all night!" says the big guy standing over the opening, as he slams his hand into the top of the crate. And outcomes...

It's Cass...

Harper doesn't understand how 

But she doesn't care.

It has to be her. 

Maybe...

Same dark hair.

Same skin tone.

Same slight body.

As the little girl stumbles out, trying to recoil from her captor's grip, she looks around desperately. Her eyes lock with Harper's, who is hiding in the darkness.

Her eyes are _green_...

Cass's were blue and brown.

It isn't Cass. 

But that doesn't matter. 

Cass would be a hero. 

Time for Harper to be one too.

The first any of them know of her is a bolt of lightning slamming into the man corralling the little girl. He drops to one knee in pain, the moment he looks up Harper is there diving down on him. Slamming her elbow into his jaw; she feels bone shatter, and he falls to the floor, moaning in pain.

She stands up to her full height. This is what she needs. Just her. And half a dozen assholes for her to beat down.

The next to go down is the guy behind her. He tells her that she is making a big mistake, while he makes the _massive_ mistake of grabbing her arm. She rams a taser into his hand. The only thing she feels is his hand tensing from all the power shorting through it and a rush of exhilaration. The moment she lets up he pulls away, but she follows him, punching him hard in the gut. as he doubled over coughing, she smashes him over the head.

They come faster now that everyone is alerted and over there shock, one grabbing her from behind. She kicks down into his knee then -as he lets go- she smacks him with her elbows, first right to his temple, then ducking down to strike left into his kidney. 

Before she can follow up to take him out, another swing a metal bar at her head. She takes the hit on her forearm; feeling the blow rattle through her muscle and bones. But she pushes back the pain and grabs the hand holding the weapon. Pulling him towards her and headbutting him feeling cartilage splinter under bone.

She hears a yell as a fire axe swings at her. she steps aside from the downswing and steps around the reverse. As she closes him down there is a BANG! and a sharp pain flares across her shoulder.

She turns to glare down the gun of the shooter. He is a good few meters away. The others back away, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire. Cowards.

"stay exactly where you are, or we can find out how armoured your head is!"

Panting with exhilaration more than exertion, she turns around to face him. Harper lowers her gait, ready to dive forward like a coiled spring. His hand is steady, and his eyes stay trained on her, almost unblinking. No idiot then. But so long as she keeps her movements unpredictable he will have a hard time tracking her. all she has to do is close faster than he can get a bead on her. and if she fails? Well, what does she have to lose?

She tenses up low, hands curled like claws, teeth bared. She can make out his finger squeeze the trigger ...

Before she can move, an arrow hits the gun, knocking it offline and covering it in an adhesive foam. Both Harper and the four (still standing) guys don't have time to do more than blink as the wall explodes and Guardian bursts through the opening. And at the same time Roy and Dick drop on them, the former grabs the guy with the axe and throws him aside, and the latter takes out the guy whose nose she had broken. The last guy doesn't have a chance to do more than turn to run before an arrow knocks him out.

"I had that DAMN IT!" she yells directly into Dicks face, mostly because he is the closest. 

"Bluebird. Cool. Off."

She holds his gaze for several seconds longer. There is a fiery rage burning in her chest, driving her to hit him. She wants to -more than anything- even if she knows it will end badly. At this moment she doesn't care. She can't even feel much of the pain. There is just the crimson rage.

It is Roy who breaks her out of the trance by putting his hand on her back. She knows hs intends it to be supportive, but it just hurts. Though that's mostly because of the sharp spike of pain it caused where she had been shot.

Flinching away she tries to keep the pain from being too obvious, but from the looks, the others give her she failed hard. not wanting to hear more sympathy/ criticism she storms out past Jim, as the sound of sirens catches on the wind.

A few minutes later, they are up on the building overlooking the warehouse as the cops show up. Stepping out of their cars, they are greeted by the kids leaving the building, and the traffickers bound up outside. Harper is sat on the edge of the building feet dangling over into the nothingness. While the boys are behind her striking some heroic pose.

She can hear Will and Dick joking about whether they looked better in their Bowhunter Security uniforms than their hero gear or not, but Harper isn't paying attention. The adrenalin of the fight has worn off, and now she just feels so tired. her shoulder hurts more now too. not to mention a bit of her side where she thinks a shot must have clipped her when she was on the truck. 

She should get up, go back to the watchtower, get her wounds checked then sleep. But that's effort. 

Distantly she realises that Roy has sat next to her on the parapet. "the others are heading out. You going back to the watchtower?" she makes a non-committal noise still looking over the clear night to the few towers of Star City. he goes on, "you didn't do too bad in that fight."

"go to hell."

"wow, I'm serious, no kiddin'. You went up against six guys with no gear and saved the kid. that's as much as anyone could do."

"Keep talking like that and people might think your not a jackass after all." he half laughs but doesn't reply letting the quiet hum of the city rest until she says, "I didn't plan the fight. I should have. But I didn't. I just wanted to fight them. I didn't even think about the girl after the fight started."

"you still think you could have won?"

"sure. Probably have been shot again, but if I could take the shooter out the rest wouldn't have wanted to fight. probably."

"wow, you're worse than me!"

"or your not even in my league buddy."

After that they get up and head back to the Zeta to the watchtower, talking about nothings. Apparently, he has got into more than one messy fight since splitting from the league. Outside the blue police box, they exchange numbers, on the pretext that if Roy finds any fun looking fights he can invite her along.

The Zeta wines up as soon as she steps in. the feeling of being, then not, then being again, sweeps over her. 

As she walks out the zeta tube on the Watchtower her thoughts are of her of dropping into her bed and sleeping. A shower and medical rubbish can wait till she wakes up. However, she stops on the steps as the crowd of people turn to look at her.

"Harper! where have you been? I've been trying to find you." Dinah says hurrying over.

"stopping crooks, beating bad guys, getting shot, you know nor-"

"you got shot!" 

"of course you fixate on that part," Harper mutters, "I'm fine. I have armour. I'm just a bit sore, so please save the lectures for later." 

"I wasn't going to lecture you." Canary says, taking a few steps after her, "it was about finding you a place to stay."

"fine whatever. just tell me where you are dropping me in the morning, right now I need sleep." Harper says as nonchalantly as she can manage, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in her chest. So this is what her life is going to be, being shunted around from being one person's problem to the next until she dies or the world ends. This is exactly why she didn't want to get dropped into the adoption circuit.

"We aren't going to 'drop you' anywhere," Dinah says taking a few steps after Harper, who had started making her way back to the lodging. but she pauses when she hears what Dinah says next, "we want to give you a choice." 

* * *

  
"it wasn't much of a choice was it."

"but it was one."

Harper shifts the weight of her backpack on her uninjured shoulder but doesn't reply as they ride the elevator up to Canary's condo. She knows it was nice of Dinah to offer, but it's not like any of the other options were near functional. Imagine Harper living on a farm. A Farm! and she also noted the distinct lack of solo living options, if she is being cynical she would think that they don't trust her.

The elevator pings and the doors open. Dinah leads her to another door that she opens with a key and lets them in.

The first room that they enter is a hybrid living room/kitchen; With the kitchen area against one wall split from the main room by a bar-like table. The far wall has a large tv against it with a set of chairs gathered around. The wall across from the tv is lined with bookshelves. The final side of the room is more of a massive window looking down on the complexes swimming pool a few stories below. 

Next Dinah shows her through the other rooms of the house. First up is the guest room, that is now going to be Harper's room. It is simply furnished; a single bed -that is unmade, but Harper can see bedding in a closet built into one wall- and a wooden desk and chair opposite the bed. There is a door leading to the attached en-suite which has a small shower. 

"I'm sure you will want to add some furnishings." Dinah tells her from the doorway as Harper looks around, "I know you get some money from the league, but if you need any extra, I can help you out."

"Meh. I'm pretty low maintenance." Harper replies glancing out the window where she can see Star City a little way off, "and I asked Miss M to get someone to drop my stuff off when they have the chance, but..."

"They have a mission don't they... how is your shoulder doing?"

"Fine." Harper lies. Well, it's not #bad, just a bit purple and sore. but before Dinah can push further, Harper asks, "where next?"

"I'll show you the Dojo. It's not as complex as the Watchtower, but you can also go to the gym on the first floor and the pool outside. Then after that, I'll show you my room, and then we-" suddenly the doorbell rings. They go back to the entrance and Dinah has a few words with the security guard over the line. After a moment she gives him the go-ahead to send the visitor up. 

"It's your stuff." She tells Harper before continuing, "as I was saying, then we need to sort out chores, I'm not going to let you get away without pulling your weight."

"oh yay, chore wheel," Harper replies, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

"Not necessarily. We can juggle it some other way if you prefer. I'm not here to be your mum. I'm here to be your roommate."

Before Harper can reply, there is a knock at the door, though it sounds more like someone kicking with their heel. Dinah opens the door, and someone enters carrying three large boxes. Harper can't immediately tell who it is, that is until she spots that the hand under the boxes is robotic.

"Roy? what are you doing here?"

"well, it's nice to hear some gratitude at least." 

"yeah yeah, you didn't answer my question."

Roy shifts the boxes so he can look round them, "well I heard you were moving in with Dinah, so I offered to bring your stuff over while the others were off-world."

"guess I'm pinching your room, huh?"

"Don't think so. You know I don't think I have ever actually been here..."

"It was after 'your' time. I started looking for it after the team was founded." Dinah supplies, "why don't you two go set that lot up, and I'll order pizza, we'll make a night of it."

"sure, sure. come on Roy."

"sounds great. Thanks, Dinah!"

Dinah watches them head into Harper's room, a feeling of sorrow laying heavy on her chest. Even just a couple of years ago Roy had been on a murderous rampage after being brought back from the dead. And now he is the better adjusted of the two. But it is also a hopeful thing. If Roy can do it after all that he has been through, so can Harper.

She orders a pizza each, though she isn't sure what the kids prefer. She can presume that they will mix and match. After that, she checks her emails and replies to Cissie and Eduardo before their food arrives. 

She calls Harper and Roy out as she gets back with the pizzas. When they come out Dinah swears that Harper's hair is a little more dishevelled than normal, and they both seem rather more flushed than she would expect from setting up a PC... 

Dinah wants to hope that it will all be okay. That they may find solace in each other, but she also wonders whether that will happen before Harper sabotages it. Whatever 'it' is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i originally wasn't going to make Harper/Harper (yes thats what i'm calling it) a thing (the 'not my type' line was meant to be roy saying he was gay) but a snippet of it (posted on [my tumblr](https://dooomninja.tumblr.com/)) got quite a few notes and i kind of got inspired. don't bet on it lasting all that long though, i have plans
> 
> the stuff about Dinah finding Harper somewhere to live, and it being a choice and all that was inspired by [control by WritingEmi](https://archiveofourown.org/works/854868) (though with wally west and abuse parents) they probably did that bit better, but it is also not a major part of this fic so...

**Author's Note:**

> as i mentioned at the end of Painted Black that there would be two stories running in parallel (i also said summer but it's 2020 time isn't a thing), each of the stories will alternate, update an arc at a time (with a few days between each chapter) . it should only be about a month and a bit between each set of updates 
> 
> finally I wish to thank you for reading <3


End file.
